[firecomet]

Hi peeps..

WARNING! b4 u all intend to read. tis maybe very boring n long for u all.. so i apologise if i cause any discomfort or inconvenice to u all..



cant believe i am here for the second time writing abt my bgr again.. sigh.. was with my gf for among 6months(2days to 6mths) n i asked for breakup.. i broke down due to the bad surprises she gave me for 3 straight days..

First 3 months was like honeymoon.. she tried to accompany as much as she can cause she was having holiday n wasnt working when we were 1st month together n i was about to enlist to army.. felt the sacrifice from her but didnt show much appreciation at tat time. till when i was in army she was like sad tat i am unable to accompany her much cause i in camp mahz.. but soon she understands... found a job selling christian dior make ups n perfume.. but yet after her work she will come my place to accompany me despite after working till 940++. we use to had lots of quarrels(small ones) n immediately after quarrel we are like lovely to each other again..

Tis stuff lasted for about 2.5 months when reaching 3 months we had a problem.. i started trying to know her friends cause i felt tat knowing her friends may help me in some way.. as in giving her surprises sometimes or something.. but she doesnt like it. by den i was like tagging at her friends blog.. she didnt know till i tell her n she warn me not to do it again jus by the reason of she jus don like me knowing her friends.. till now i am wondering why.. but seems like maybe something happened to her last time to cause her to think tis way.. but in the end i did reply one of her friend tag reply out of respect.. somehow i felt tat a person left u a msg u should reply lahz... but she don understand tis n she been giving me cold shoulders at tat period.. i didnt know wat i did till i plead many times n need to guess slowly.. i explained to her n somehow she was still angry during tat time.. den we slowly discussed n i compromise her by not tagging her friend's blog n not scolding vulgarities.. But life changed.. she doesnt like to come my place anymore.. as her sch has started.. she also works alot.. changed her hairstyle n we hardly spend time for each other even thought now i am attached to a mess at my hq.. so i am staying out n lots of time for her.. but its totally opposite now.. she got no time for me n i am darn free... i also don wanna like go out with a gal alone cause she doesnt like it.. one of the big quarrels we had.. so somehow we had quarrels about timing somehow..

got once another quarrel.. we were suppose to meet.. i sms her tat i will be a little late.. she said ok.. end up she left the house late also den i ended up have to wait for her for 15mins.. she is always late.. but telling me tat she will change.. during tat period i was unhappy n suddenly she also damn unhappy.. scold me vulgar(which is the 1st time i heard) n ask me to shut up infront of so many ppl in the mrt train. i asked her out of the train n we talk. vulgar came out from her. anger n violence came out from me. don worry i didnt abuse her.. i bang the wall. sat down n talk n slowly manage to come to a rest. we continue our trip..


but the meeting problem still persist.. We haven been meeting each other for the past 2-3months much.. like she said due to her working part time n studying.. sunday she would like to leave for her family members... at times i am very tired tat she leaving her friends work n studies n family as piority.. as if tat i am not her bf.. every monday she use to keep it for me cause since i am off.. she finish sch at 5... we can meet for movie n dinner.. but last mon she like suddenly leave it for her friend when she tell me jus bringing a friend to buy contact lens.. den end up drag till neva meet me.. by den i was very sian le lohz.. i wanted to meet her so so much cause i kinda miss her alot.. but she think tat fri(6months) meeting le mahz.. so don need le wat.. den i was like fine. let it off.. tue late morning i sms her cause i didnt wanna interrupt her sch.. but i was wrong.. i sms her saying tat i miss her after about 20++ sms i asked whether she can skip her jap lesson which is at the last lesson.. she ended up telling me she didnt go to sch.. i was damn shocked n pissed.. tat why didnt she tell me.. she always like to gib me bad surprises.. making me to do sudden change of plans.. den next sms was like she cant go out cause her maid told her mum tat she(my gf) doesnt feel well so she is stuck at home.. by den i was really tired of it.. i had to go to 2 specialist on tat day n was hoping she can accompany me.. i was like trying to cool down as she already somehow apologise to me.. den on wed.. i finished work n was waiting at home to sms her after she works.. was smsing suddenly got no reply from her.. sms the 2nd time she also neva reply.. so i called her ask her where is she n why didnt she reply.. by den she was alraedy under her voiddeck n was chatting with her working colleague n forgotten abt me.. during tis period i cannot take it cause i felt tat i am being left out.. she always do tis to me de lohz.. always forgot to sms me or something.. she said sorry for the incident.


so i sms her to ask for break.. first msg from her is like the money she owe me she will return me(cause i sold a phone to her).. i called her n we ended up being hot headed not letting each other.. i asked her whether she will salvage the relationship anot. she said no.. ever since the ex-bf reject her patch she will not do it again.. i was like fine..

2 days later ended up i asked for patch.. don ask me why k.. i also don know why.. i was like so sure tat i wanna break.. the next day after break up i even felt so weird.. i woke up with jus 2hrs of slp. on the journey to camp i was why am i feeling nothing.. like my brain is telling me i should be sad but my heart got no feeling at all.. puzzled me all the while.. n ya i asked for patch she say she stress got lots of thing in mind(as in work, cause she may loose her job, not cause of me. and her projects n exams are due.). n needs time to think.. during the period got sms.. but i couldnt wait somehow.. so in sms got talk abt it.. but she also say gib her time.. but its a time tat i don dare to waste.. as in time will cause someone to loose the feelings..(she asked for till end of aug) n i had plans in mind like bringing her to the fireworks(book a table in the restaurant at swissotel top floor).. or even see the aug 27 2nd moon(mars) thing as if i not wrong next time will be at year 2260++ by den all of us will be dead! so 2 days ago i asked to meet her n tried to talk.. she seems like haertless.. me the one sobbing yet she didnt.. den like ask for patch she didnt want.. said like she thought abt the future.. tat we will neva get marry.. n even if we patch problems will still be there.. n even her friends tat don know me thnik tat we shouldnt patch.. but its like the friend only hear part of her story wat.. we had a friend whom we know.. i told her abt our prblems since last time one.. n yet she went to scold my exgf for being selfish cause i cannot go out with my gal friends(lala should know i got more galfriends den guys.. lolz..) so she opened up after our big quarrel(tats when i tag at the friend blog).. tats why attitude changed.. i don know man.. i felt like i made a mistake by telling the friend so the friend can settle somehow for me.. she doesnt like me to tell the friend lahz.. so i didnt contact tat friend of mine for awhile also till recently.. to tell her abt it.. she(exgf) even said tat maybe she is not ready for relationship.. even patch also wont change.. keep saying tat she is a person who jus take don gib.. so the talk didnt went well.. i not gd in words or so.. i even need to force her to take the prezzie i prepared for the 6month n left.. she left for sch too.. not sure in tears anot.. from the back i see her take tissue wipe face lahz(i see from the back). i maybe wrong.. she might be wiping her sweat..

i don know wat to do man.. she even asked me not to wait for her.. said tat soon i can get over it or so.. wah piang was like so painful lohz.. but i did sms her saying i will wait for her..

i feel like wooing her back to start over again.. but should i? somehow i know she still got feelings for me but trying to forget it.. wat should i do?

guess some of u will wan me to forget it.. i thought of it too.. but i jus don wan lehz.. don know why.. lolz..

thanks for reading btw..

wat should i do to show tat i really love her n wan her back!?!!? she is 19 in poly.

[sgboi82]

Maybe can buy her flowers to show ur sincere tat u really wan to start all over again to really love her n treasure her.

[forever-urs]

(:

do wat u think is right!!

^^

[cloud]

another complicated issue but somehow i think that you had use the word break like a kid play too early without thinking of the consequences.

It will be harder to patch back for your case and that probably if i am the girl will not choose to do so since you are the one who suggest it and god know when you are going to do it again.

[Broken Rubber]

For a start, your English helicopter leh...find it hard to understand sometimes.

Well, if you view it at another angle, its always you, you, you. So in another sense, you are bloody selfish. Also, in courtship its always the guys that are paying. So be a little bit more generous lah. Broke up must ask for things and money in return? Thats a joke.

[firecomet]

Originally Posted by edward009

another complicated issue but somehow i think that you had use the word break like a kid play too early without thinking of the consequences.

It will be harder to patch back for your case and that probably if i am the girl will not choose to do so since you are the one who suggest it and god know when you are going to do it again.

tats wat i think also lohz.. but problem is if we don give n take. problem will sure stays there don u think so?

Originally Posted by Broken Rubber

For a start, your English helicopter leh...find it hard to understand sometimes.

Well, if you view it at another angle, its always you, you, you. So in another sense, you are bloody selfish. Also, in courtship its always the guys that are paying. So be a little bit more generous lah. Broke up must ask for things and money in return? Thats a joke.

yeah i understand.. my eng sucks. jus have to admit tat.

like i said. its my pov here. i doesnt have her pov tats why its abit hard for me to understand.

about money.. i neva ask for things or money in return, i not tat kind of guy. the $$ for the hp is she insist, not me. so pls don get the wrong idea.

Originally Posted by forever-urs

(:

do wat u think is right!!

^^

thanks but not helping lehz.. lolz.. i wanna hear like ur point of view n maybe wat can be done.. lolz..

[feverinred]

i see communication problems all over the place. from your entire story it would seem like you two have never really know each other well and as you two gradually know each other deeper n deeper, you both show discontent n thus e bad things that happen after that.

u bang the wall? i dont think any girl will like to see their bf bang the wall..

i agree with edward regarding ur usage of the word "break".

take s step back n think clearly whether this relationship is worth saving. ur way of typing makes me feel like u r still in messy n confused state, only thinking whether to re-jio or not. think of e bigger picture, wad mistakes u made, wad mistakes she made etc. then think abt whether its worth it to go into it again.

IMO in a rel if one is a taker the other MUST be a giver, not expecting u to give all the time but ur lvl of toleration must be high i guess.

"guess some of u will wan me to forget it.. i thought of it too.. but i jus don wan lehz.. don know why.. lolz.. " you cannot dont know y. you HAVE to know why.

[firecomet]

Originally Posted by feverinred

i see communication problems all over the place. from your entire story it would seem like you two have never really know each other well and as you two gradually know each other deeper n deeper, you both show discontent n thus e bad things that happen after that.

u bang the wall? i dont think any girl will like to see their bf bang the wall..

i agree with edward regarding ur usage of the word "break".

take s step back n think clearly whether this relationship is worth saving. ur way of typing makes me feel like u r still in messy n confused state, only thinking whether to re-jio or not. think of e bigger picture, wad mistakes u made, wad mistakes she made etc. then think abt whether its worth it to go into it again.

IMO in a rel if one is a taker the other MUST be a giver, not expecting u to give all the time but ur lvl of toleration must be high i guess.

"guess some of u will wan me to forget it.. i thought of it too.. but i jus don wan lehz.. don know why.. lolz.. " you cannot dont know y. you HAVE to know why.

knowing each other isnt the problem.. sensing each other problem yet unwilling to change its a problem.. the usage of break i must admit.. but the actions she did is many many times after much number of reminders.. tried being patience.. but during tat situation, the feeling of unfair for the straight 3 days was unbearable..

my lvl of tolerance wasnt high as i believe tat if girls wan the same stand with guys.. at least give abit.. cannot always be the takers.. but i must say i didnt thought of her tolerance to me.. tats is my greatest mistake.. cause she is a kind of gal who has low esteem.. even thought i am the bf.. some problems she doesnt tell me n it worries me.. during tat anger period.. i didnt thought about it.. it was jus a selfish me tat i unleashed it..


the reason of ""why i don know why i don wanna give up"is because i don know how to express the love tat i have in her to u guys.. if i am able to express the feelings to all of u here. i would have tell her wholeheartedly.. althought we always quarrel.. each quarrel my love for her deepens as i know abit more of her feelings.. of wat she is feeling currently or wat she thinks..

[Esth3r]

Just go do something which ur heart lead u to do..If u wanna patch back wif her jz go ahead..Cos u now just wan to hear ppl tell u go ahead at least show that what you do is correct..Sometimes if u feel that you wan to do certain thing jz go ahead wif it..If not later part u regret y u nv done tis or that...In a r/s there is give n tkes..there is definitely one person who gves most the other receive more..Tis will lead to compromise which is needed in a r/s..Mayb both of u nd times to tink whether both of u is suitable for each other..Gve both of u some times..Who knows mayb now u not together,but in the end b together..No one can predict the future..If she is urs, she will come back to u in the end..Of cos muz c you will miss the chance anot oso..

[ican]

First and foremost, your passage is too long...Try to be brief and straight to the point.

Ok, my take: you are a quarrelsome pair...I guess your breakup is a well deserved one.

why?

Within 3 months you started critizing each other with words. Within 6 months you ask for a break up...and now, you said you love her and want her back....

My question to you is simple...why would you quarrel with her if you truely love her in the first place?

I got another question for you...you love her or are you just lonely?

Sometimes, we need to face the realities...or we will never change.

Do some soul searchin coz from my POV, you are in the wrong....

[feverinred]

Originally Posted by firecomet

knowing each other isnt the problem.. sensing each other problem yet unwilling to change its a problem.. the usage of break i must admit.. but the actions she did is many many times after much number of reminders.. tried being patience.. but during tat situation, the feeling of unfair for the straight 3 days was unbearable..

my lvl of tolerance wasnt high as i believe tat if girls wan the same stand with guys.. at least give abit.. cannot always be the takers.. but i must say i didnt thought of her tolerance to me.. tats is my greatest mistake.. cause she is a kind of gal who has low esteem.. even thought i am the bf.. some problems she doesnt tell me n it worries me.. during tat anger period.. i didnt thought about it.. it was jus a selfish me tat i unleashed it..


the reason of ""why i don know why i don wanna give up"is because i don know how to express the love tat i have in her to u guys.. if i am able to express the feelings to all of u here. i would have tell her wholeheartedly.. althought we always quarrel.. each quarrel my love for her deepens as i know abit more of her feelings.. of wat she is feeling currently or wat she thinks..

there you go... do more thinking and soul searching... you'll learn alot this way and if u manage to win her back, you know better what to expect and what should you two do...

esth3r said have i wanted to talk about so i lazy repeat

Originally Posted by ican

First and foremost, your passage is too long...Try to be brief and straight to the point.

Ok, my take: you are a quarrelsome pair...I guess your breakup is a well deserved one.

why?

Within 3 months you started critizing each other with words. Within 6 months you ask for a break up...and now, you said you love her and want her back....

My question to you is simple...why would you quarrel with her if you truely love her in the first place?

I got another question for you...you love her or are you just lonely?

Sometimes, we need to face the realities...or we will never change.

Do some soul searchin coz from my POV, you are in the wrong....

it's hard to say whether the breakup is a well deserved one cuz 1)he already said he's bad at words 2)written words always make matters sound worse than it seems 3)we will never know the entire whole story simply seeing his words online.

and IMO even if i truly love a girl i'll still quarrel with her if there is some conflict going on. love = cannot quarrel? i think love = quarrels must be there, no quarrel = something is wrong somewhere. it's only how one deal with a major quarrel and in this case, he chose to use the wrong word.

but "I got another question for you...you love her or are you just lonely?" would be a good question. that's why he need to step back and think...

[FaNtAsTaR]

... well, we onli noe d story frm ur part ... bt nt hers ... so is nt gd 4 us 2 judge tings ... if u luv ur gf so much, den try doing sumting 2 salvage d r/s ... show her tt u reali chged 4 d beta ... b there wheneva she needs u ...

[firecomet]

Originally Posted by Esth3r

Just go do something which ur heart lead u to do..If u wanna patch back wif her jz go ahead..Cos u now just wan to hear ppl tell u go ahead at least show that what you do is correct..Sometimes if u feel that you wan to do certain thing jz go ahead wif it..If not later part u regret y u nv done tis or that...In a r/s there is give n tkes..there is definitely one person who gves most the other receive more..Tis will lead to compromise which is needed in a r/s..Mayb both of u nd times to tink whether both of u is suitable for each other..Gve both of u some times..Who knows mayb now u not together,but in the end b together..No one can predict the future..If she is urs, she will come back to u in the end..Of cos muz c you will miss the chance anot oso..

i thought tis way too. but somehow maybe she did give but i did not notice. tat maybe one of the bad points i got in me. only like focus on the habit she has n ignore the little changes she made.

Originally Posted by ican

First and foremost, your passage is too long...Try to be brief and straight to the point.

Ok, my take: you are a quarrelsome pair...I guess your breakup is a well deserved one.

why?

Within 3 months you started critizing each other with words. Within 6 months you ask for a break up...and now, you said you love her and want her back....

My question to you is simple...why would you quarrel with her if you truely love her in the first place?

I got another question for you...you love her or are you just lonely?

Sometimes, we need to face the realities...or we will never change.

Do some soul searchin coz from my POV, you are in the wrong....

i don agree on the quarrelsome pair breaking up was a well deserved one. i had friends of mine both of them are a couple. 5yrs being together also a quarrelsome pair. n 5 yrs n counting down for ur info. it depends on when to give n take. for my incident.. during tat period my mind wasnt on the clear side. stress was involve n i did something stupid which is deadly.

doesnt mean i wont quarrel with her even when i truely love her. ppl isnt perfect. sure there will be quarrels in it. even my parents can quarrel infront of me. i am sure all of our parents does too.. so does it mean tat they don love each other?

last question. i can answer straight to u. if i am not lonely, why.. i got lots of friends to go out or contact with.. i had even more friends to contact with b4 we got together but i choose not to cause i wanna spend more time with her. its a sacrifice(time) tat i am willing to give.

Originally Posted by feverinred

there you go... do more thinking and soul searching... you'll learn alot this way and if u manage to win her back, you know better what to expect and what should you two do...

esth3r said have i wanted to talk about so i lazy repeat


it's hard to say whether the breakup is a well deserved one cuz 1)he already said he's bad at words 2)written words always make matters sound worse than it seems 3)we will never know the entire whole story simply seeing his words online.

and IMO even if i truly love a girl i'll still quarrel with her if there is some conflict going on. love = cannot quarrel? i think love = quarrels must be there, no quarrel = something is wrong somewhere. it's only how one deal with a major quarrel and in this case, he chose to use the wrong word.

but "I got another question for you...you love her or are you just lonely?" would be a good question. that's why he need to step back and think...

answering ur last comment.. i did step back n think it properly. somehow life is so much different without her. i know i can adapt back to my life where i can hang out with friends more. but i jus don wanna adapt it back cause having her was a bliss even thought we quarrel alot. as long i see her. i feel like i am stressfree.

PS: its the love tat we had making me stressfree. not using her for accompany due to me being stress.

Originally Posted by FaNtAsTaR

... well, we onli noe d story frm ur part ... bt nt hers ... so is nt gd 4 us 2 judge tings ... if u luv ur gf so much, den try doing sumting 2 salvage d r/s ... show her tt u reali chged 4 d beta ... b there wheneva she needs u ...

tats a problem i am facing. she is telling someone her stories who the someone doesnt know me. tats why the someone can make a comment of not being together is a better thing. i would rather tell someone tat both of us know so tat a clearer comment can be done..

[Dreamfulfill]

I guess since u loved her so much, u can try waiting for her at sch or her hm, if intially she gave u cold shoulders, i am sure she wil relent some day, perhaps u should try 2 b sincere and remorseful on ur part( do things tat can touch her heart again), and also let her know u had alrdy kept ur distance from ur gal frens cos this is wat she hate most from u, ( Telling ur frens things abt her shows u as not respecting her, imagine if its u and she talks abt u( gd or bad) 2 a mutual fren of u guys, how wil u feel?) and just 2 let u know, wat u like(telling frens abt r/s, make ur way into ur gf's frens doesnt apply 2 all ppls in a r/s) cos a r/s only invloves 2 ideals, not others stepping in a foot. Now keep on moving her wif ur sincerity. Good luck 2 u

[ican]

Originally Posted by feverinred

there you go... do more thinking and soul searching... you'll learn alot this way and if u manage to win her back, you know better what to expect and what should you two do...

esth3r said have i wanted to talk about so i lazy repeat


it's hard to say whether the breakup is a well deserved one cuz 1)he already said he's bad at words 2)written words always make matters sound worse than it seems 3)we will never know the entire whole story simply seeing his words online.

and IMO even if i truly love a girl i'll still quarrel with her if there is some conflict going on. love = cannot quarrel? i think love = quarrels must be there, no quarrel = something is wrong somewhere. it's only how one deal with a major quarrel and in this case, he chose to use the wrong word.

but "I got another question for you...you love her or are you just lonely?" would be a good question. that's why he need to step back and think...

I agree with you on that we will never know the entire whole story based on simply seeing his words...Thats why I judge based on what he said..

On the quarrel part, I do agree that once in a while, couples do quarrel...BUT...its once in a while...however, in that passage its once too often....3 months and everything flared up....6 months and a break up is called upon...don't you think its once too often?


To firecomet,

You mention that you have a quarrelsome pair who have a relationship of 5yrs. on the surface, 5 yrs is long...but my question to you is this....

How many times does a break up occurs in that relationship?

How often do they have a major quarrel that threaten a break up?

You said that there is nothing wrong with quarreling with the person you loved...Well, I agree, but here is the puzzling part...

You quarrel with her for the first 3 months...and within 6 months you said you want to break up...hmm...i wonder....

I got a few questions for you...

- Are you a stubbon person?
- Are you a egoistic person?
- Are you a short tempered person?

My point to you is this...check your own personalities and see where you need to make changes...I personally feels that its your personality that is flawed and needed a little fixed up...